Give me a break, Jake Linzinmeir

This month's Bon Appetit sports a feature entitled "Snow Day" spotlighting Telluride chef Jake Linzinmeir's "tiny kitchen." Of course, I read this menu for 8, which featured lobster pot pies in incredibly cute little mini-dutch ovens, with great interest. In a little sidebar box "Small Kitchen, Big Ideas" they say,

When you see Jake's tiny kitchen (left) it's hard to believe that this entire menu was made in such a small space. "The smaller, the better," he says. "Too much space breeds disorganization. If the room is too big you lose the intimacy of what's happening in the kitchen." The centerpiece of the room is a black La Cornue stove that Jake bought from the original importer..."

That brought me to a sputtering stop. A La Cornue stove????

Okay, I have a few comments. First of all, I see five people standing in his kitchen. Jake, your kitchen is not tiny. The first page of the feature shows a lovely wooden table that apparently seats 8. Jake, your kitchen is not tiny. Jake has a La Cornue Chateau 165 ('only slightly less impressive than the Chateau 180') stove. JAKE, YOUR KITCHEN IS NOT TINY.

Plus, even if your kitchen were tiny, making pot pies, polenta squares, a salad and some port poached pears for eight people is not, in point of fact, a big freakin' deal.

I'll admit, straight up, that total jealously is involved. I want a La Cornue stove. It's not going to happen. First of all, there's no way anyone could get a La Cornue stove up the stairs to our apartment much less through our door. And even if they could magically get it into our kitchen "space" it would probably break through the floor and crush the occupants below us.

Now some of you may say, "But how do you know that Jake has a La Cornue Chateau 165 ('only slightly less impressive than the Chateau 180')?"

I know. I've been looking at these ovens for a good long while. I know.

Jake .. Jake, m'boy...your kitchen is not tiny.



Now, OUR kitchen is tiny.